Day Eight

I really wanted to get everyone ready and up in the morning to go visit Esa before Art needed to leave for work, but it just didn't work out and I had to leave and go up to switch with him by myself. There were so many things that I kept forgetting. I didn't take the trash out to be collected, I left laundry in the washing machine and I didn't remind my mom to turn on her phone, so I couldn't call her either.

Art and I seemed to just pass by each other and I missed him so much. With his work schedule and with the hospital being an hour away it was kind of a big deal to be able to get to see each other for longer than a few minutes here and there.

I felt like Esa looked the same, still super swollen, even though he had gone down a bit. They measured how much fluid he was retaining by measuring what he was being given (medicines and iv fluids and milk), measuring what he gave back (poop and pee) and calculating the difference. They wanted him to at least be coming out even, if not peeing and pooping out more than what he took in.  After I got there they measured him again and he had gone up. He was at positive 100, from negative 130. They gave him blood and meds to replace electrolytes that he was losing from all of the diaretics and they took out his last chest tube.

He was so much more peaceful, but then he was on a lot of oxycodone and fentanyl.  He wasn't peeing enough to get him in the negative, so they gave him a few different diaretics which made little change. All the doctors were puzzled. He wasn't making progress as quickly as they expected and would have liked, but he was still making progress. I felt a little better because he seemed to be more comfortable and not getting so frantic when he was upset.

He had a ton of gas in his belly, so they upped his feedings, thinking that would help, bringing him up to around 9ml/hour. He opened his eyes without being agitated for a long time. It was so nice to just be able to talk to him and be with him while he was awake.

I went to the cafeteria for lunch and the lunch lady made my day. Food is a big thing for me. By that I mean two things-I eat a lot and that I really like it. At the hospital cafeteria the food portions aren't terrible, but I would still leave hungry. But today's lunch lady gave me a burrito that she stuffed so full that she couldn't even close it. I could have kissed her. Except that might have been weird and I might have been asked to leave without getting to eat my burrito before they kicked me out.

Pumping was going really well and the lactation specialists are super sweet and supportive. Art went home after work to be able to be with the boys in the morning. I really wanted to call and see how they are doing, but my mom's phone was still off. I knew they were probably having a great time. I had a hard time leaving Esa, even when Art was here and even to do things like go to the bathroom, pump, or eat. I felt guilty when something was taking a long time and I wasn't with Esa. I noticed, however, that most of the babies were without parents for much of the time. I just don't know how I could leave my alone overnight. What if something happened? I would have to drive an hour just to get back to the hospital. I'm so grateful they had places for us to stay in the hospital. I was able to get a sleep room that night.